Josh Billings Quotes

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain’t gout.

To be a good critic demands more brains and judgment than most men possess.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

Credit is like chastity, they can both stand temptation better than suspicion.

Contentment iz a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but kontentment in his world, man wouldn’t be any more of a suckcess than an angleworm iz.

If a man is too right he can’t be too radical; if he is wrong, he can’t be too conservative.

I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, but the wheel that does the squeaking is the one that gets the grease.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as they ought to be done.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.