The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Wilson Mizner Quotes
I’d rater know a square guy than own a square mile.
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in.
The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady.
Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism. If you steal from two it’s research.