Audience Quotes

I’ve always disliked following other speakers. Once I followed one who was so bad the audience was still booing him all the way through my speech.

When I get through with my speech, there’s usually a great awakening.

It is better to leave your audience before your audience leaves you.

Sometimes when a speaker has the audience on the edge of their seats, they’re trying to muster up the nerve to get up and go home.

Many speakers confuse the seating capacity of the hall with the sitting capacity of the audience.

Each of us here, has a job to do in this hour. Mine is to talk and yours is to listen. My hope is that you will not finish your job before I finish mine.

The audience is fifty percent of the performance.

As with most audiences when there is a live celebrity on stage, our laughter is performative, disproportionate, and noncontextual: a semaphoric ass kiss across the footlights. Here we are, famous person! We get you!

The square people think I’m too hip, and the hip people think I’m too square.

An audience is like a broad. If you’re indifferent, Endsville.