Cancer Quotes

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I’m a comedienne, and even cancer couldn’t stop me from seeing humor in what I went through.

I started out to write a book called “A Portrait of the Artist as a Housewife.” I wanted to write a collection of stories, poems, and vignettes about things like my toaster oven and my relationships with plumbers, mailmen and delivery people. But life dealt me a much more complicated story. On October 21, 1986, […]

Whoever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

The new appreciation of things I once took for granted – eating lunch with a friend, scratching my cat Muffet’s ears and listening for his purrs, the company of my wife, reading a book or magazine in the quiet of my bed lamp at night, raiding the refrigerator for a glass of orange juice or […]

Cancer is so limited… It cannot cripple love, It cannot shatter Hope, It cannot corrode faith, It cannot destroy peace, It cannot kill friendship, It cannot suppress memories, It cannot silence courage, It cannot invade the soul, It cannot steal eternal life, It cannot conquer the spirit.

It is a typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant, and then remove it. (When told that Randolph Churchill had had a tumor removed, but it turned out to be benign)

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.

My father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular.

The three most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you.” They are: “It is benign.”

The truth is, if you asked me to choose between winning the Tour de France and cancer, I would choose cancer. Odd as it sounds, I would rather have the title of cancer survivor than winner of the Tour, because of what it has done for me as a human being, a man, a husband, […]