Parents Quotes

Maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion.

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

They all disowned their parents long ago, the way you are supposed to.

When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through.”

To my deep mortification my father once said to me, “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat-catching, and you will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family.”