Thanksgiving Quotes

Once a pumpkin, always a pumpkin.

What calls back the past like the rich pumpkin pie?

Sometimes I think that ideas float through the atmosphere like huge squishy pumpkins waiting for heads to drop on.

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.

It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself.’

A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.