After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, “A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created.” “This is true,” He replied. “He will need laws,” said the Demon slyly. “What! You, […]
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Christian, n.: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
Harbor, n. A place where ships taking shelter from storms are exposed to the fury of customs.
Arena, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
Rostrum, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
Battle, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Sorcery, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
Delegation, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Incumbent, n.: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
