Nominee, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

Nominate, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

Politician, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Populist, n. A fossil patriot of the early agricultural period, found in the old red soapstone underlying Kansas.

Push, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

Quorum, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U. S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

Recount, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

Arena, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

Rostrum, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.