Delegation, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Incumbent, n.: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

Mugwump, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

Multitude, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman’s adoration.

Nepotism, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Nominee, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

Nominate, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

Politician, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.