Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Please, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.

Plagiarize, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

Pity, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

Piano, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

Piety, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles, To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

Pitiful, adj. The state of an enemy of opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

Photograph, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.