Please, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Plagiarize, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
Pity, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
Piano, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
Picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
Piety, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles, To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
Pitiful, adj. The state of an enemy of opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
Photograph, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
Gnostics, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
Cartesian, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, “Cogito ergo sum” – whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: “Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum” – “I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;” as […]
