Let’s drink to California, way out by the sea, Where a woman’s ass, and a whiskey glass, Made a horse’s ass of me.

For (insert city of your choosing) hath no sober man, Or none of milk sop thinkers, And no philosophical fools, But great and glorious drinkers!

Here’s to the women in the high-heeled shoes, who smoke men’s fags and drink men’s booze; and when they kiss, they kiss so sweet, they make things stand that have no feet!

May your Guardian Angel be at your side to pick ya up off the floor and hand ya another cold stout from the store.

Here’s champagne to your real friends – And real pain to your sham friends!

Merry met, and merry part, I drink to thee with all my heart.

Wind to thy wings. Light to thy path. Dreams to thy heart.

Here’s to holly and ivy hanging up, And to something wet in every cup.

Here’s to women’s kisses, and to whiskey, amber clear; not as sweet as a woman’s kiss, but a damn sight more sincere!

May you never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in each other’s arms. If you must steal, steal kisses. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us, your friends.