A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before.

Computers allow us to work 100% faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more work.

The goal of computer science is to build something that will last until we have finished building it!

What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.

An odd thought strikes me: We shall not receive e-mail in the grave. How will we survive?

Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?

There comes a time when all people break down and do the unthinkable: They read the manual.

The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.