George Carlin Quotes

Comedy’s all about comparisons and contrasts and congruities and incongruities and heightenings and understatement and exaggeration.

Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one’s chest, to sing one’s song. So that element is present in all art. And comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts—it’s a vulgar art, it’s one of the people’s arts, it’s the spoken word, the writing that goes […]

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.

The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.

Are we so arrogant to really think we can damage the planet?

Always do whatever’s next.

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees a glass half empty. I see a glass twice the size that it needs to be.

Jesus doesn’t love you. However, He thinks you have a great personality.