Groucho Marx Quotes

I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.

She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll become the life of the party.

Don’t point that beard at me, it might go off.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

I didn’t like the play. But I saw it under unfavorable circumstances – the curtains were up.