P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

If we want to demoralize the population of Iraq and sap their will to fight, we ought to show them videotapes of the South Bronx, Detroit City and the West Side of Chicago. Take a look, you Iraqis – this is what we do to our own cities in peacetime. Just think what we’re going […]

Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.

You say our country’s never been invaded? You’re right, little buddy. Because I’d like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who’d have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying “Cheerio.” Hell can’t hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, […]

America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so that we could all be anything we damn well pleased.

Back in London – tired, discouraged and a little drunk – I called an old girlfriend from college. She and I had been through a lot together back when the U. S. was taking a punch at the Vietnamese and I was the one blocking the streets and screaming about American imperialism… “You’re bloody mad!” […]

America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well pleased.

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features; a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards.

Age and guile beat youth, innocence, and a bad haircut.