Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller Quotes
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
It’s a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I’d be rotten to the core.
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for the estimate.
