"The Simpsons" Quotes

Operator! Give me the number for 911. (Homer Simpson)

And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we’d like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family has experienced. Well, not today, but… You saw what happened! Oh, Lord, be honest! […]

Remember as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family. (Homer Simpson)

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of life’s problems. (Homer Simpson)

C’mon, Moe. It’s been St. Patrick’s day for hours now and I’m not drunk yet! (Homer Simpson)

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! (Homer Simpson)

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how drunk you get. (Homer Simpson)

All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer. (Homer Simpson)

Don’t have a cow, man! (Bart Simpson)

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? (Homer Simpson)