Airplanes Quotes

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

The aeroplane will prevent war by making it too expensive, too slow, too difficult, too long drawn out.

That day at Kitty Hawk, we thought only of getting off the ground. Later we hoped that the airplane would be an instrument of peace, perhaps the instrument that would enforce peace.

Airplane food isn’t in a great state; so many of the airlines serve heavy, stodgy meals. Last year we opened a restaurant at Heathrow’s Terminal 5, where we offer these amazing picnics to take onboard. They’re light, easy to carry, and most importantly, absolutely delicious.

Here’s the ideal experience: that the flight attendant recognises you, but the guy sitting next to you doesn’t.

Very interesting, Whittle, my boy, but it will never work. (Response of Cambridge aeronautical engineering professor, shown Frank Whittle’s plan for a jet engine)

If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead.

Some day my ship will come in, and with my luck I’ll be at the airport.

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to […]

If flying is so safe, why do they call an airport the ‘terminal’?