Australia Quotes

Australia, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

The good news is that most Australians make it quite clear when they’re being sarcastic by their tone of voice. A sarcastic statement will be said in a clearly unenthusiastic way.The tricky part is that many of the comments Australians make are rather unenthusiastic, so it can sometimes be difficult to know when an Australian […]

It is not even possible to say quite where the outback is. To Australians anything vaguely rural is “the bush”. At some indeterminate point “the bush” becomes “the outback”. Push on for another 200 miles or so and eventually you come to bush again, and then a city, and then the sea. And that’s Australia.

New Zealand was colonized initially by those Australians who had the initiative to escape.

Our first settlers were chosen by England’s best judges.

At least we American tourists understand English when it’s spoken loudly and clearly enough. Australians don’t. Once you’ve been on a plane full of drunken Australians doing wallaby imitations up and down the aisles, you’ll never make fun of Americans visiting the Wailing Wall in short shorts again.

The French or the Americans might argue that much of their national character emerged during the overthrow of their oppressors which was needed to establish their nations. And indeed we in Australia perhaps lack their fiery and passionate commitment to self-determination. But we have something which I think is much more special. One hundred years […]

The Australian Book of Etiquette is a very slim volume.

A sports-obsessed suburban wasteland devoid of cerebral stimulation… If your ambition is to live on Ramsay Street, where nobody has even been heard to discuss a book or a movie, let alone an international event, then Australia may be the place for you. The pain of watching its relentless dilapidation by people too relaxed to […]

At first you have some difficulty understanding it when it is spoken, as rapidly as the orator whom I have quoted speaks it. An illustration will show what I mean. When he called, and I handed him a chair, he bowed and said.”Q” Presently, when we were lighting our cigars, he held a match to […]