In fact, you could say that I’m one of Australia’s most successful exports, along with my bosom pal Clive James, a woman called Germaine Greer, (I’m kidding, darling) and the gorgeous Nicole Kidman. (Dame Edna)
Sir, they are a race of convicts, and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
In a way Australia is like Catholicism. The company is sometimes questionable and the landscape is grotesque. But you always come back.
Just had a month in Australia, well actually it was only two weeks, just seemed like a month.
It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will ‘adopt’ you, and on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, […]
My Lord, I had a few words to say, why sentence of death should not be passed upon me; I had much to say, though I shall say but little on the occasion. Notwithstanding I have the best opinion of your lordship’s candour, and have no wish or pleasure in casting a reflection on any […]
I’m sick of fog and yellow gloom, Of faces strange, and alien eyes, Your London is a vault, a tomb, To those born ‘neath Australian skies. O land of gold and burning blue, I’m crying like a child for you!
America might control the world, but we must control and keep our own language. (in response to criticisms of his using the word “sheila” to describe a state MP)
How about claiming that the Sydney Opera House is one of the ugliest buildings in the world? That would really get us going. Or that Vegemite dulls the brain? Or meat pies give you early Alzheimer’s.