Birth Quotes

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Do not breed. Nothing gives less pleasure than childbearing. Pregnancies are damaging to health, spoil the figure, wither the charms, and it’s the cloud of uncertainty forever hanging over these events that darkens a husband’s mood.

Birth is the beginning of death.

We all enter the world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn’t have to stop there.

I feel cheated never being able to know what it’s like to get pregnant, carry a hild and breast feed.

If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

The soul is born… It has a slow and dark birth, more mysterious than the birth of the body. When the soul of a man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly […]

My female friends had told me that giving birth was like shitting a water melon. They lied. It’s like excreting a block of flats -complete with patios, awnings, clothes-lines, television aerials, satellite dishes, back-yard barbecues, kidney-shaped swimming pools, gazebos and double-garage extensions with the cars parked outside.