Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
For I have known them all already, known them all Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
A man cannot be happy who believes in hell, any more than he can sweeten his coffee with a pickle.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water. (1694)
It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
I like my coffee like I like my women. Weak, bitter and transparent.
Me and a book is a party. Me, a book and a coffee is an orgy.
COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key.
Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover.