The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash. He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart; all of His commands are user-friendly. His directory guides me to the right choices for His name’s sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is […]

Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.

Applying computer technology to a problem is simply a matter of finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.

If E-mail had been around before the telephone was invented people would have said “hey, forget e-mail – with this new telephone invention I can actually talk to people.”

The fastest computer of tomorrow won’t do any of the work you need done today. If you’re always willing to wait for the next best thing you’ll never get anywhere.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before.