It’s better to be last in the traffic lane than first in the funeral procession.

If all the cars in America were placed end to end on a long hill, some fool would try to pass them.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

The marvels of today’s modern technology include the development of a soda can, when discarded will last forever… and a $7,000 car which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Rush hour: That hour when the traffic is almost at a standstill.