Canada Quotes

For some reason a glaze passes over people’s faces when you say “Canada”. Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

Canadians were the first anti-Americans, and the best. Canadian anti-Americanism, just as the country’s French-English duality, has for two centuries been the central buttress of our national identity.

Toronto is New York run by the Swiss.

The Canadian is not an American – at least, not entirely, not yet.

Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – its cold, half French, and difficult to stir.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, ‘Well, what do you need?’

Canada’s national bird is the grouse.

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.