Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.
Canada Quotes
Canadians were the first anti-Americans, and the best. Canadian anti-Americanism, just as the country’s French-English duality, has for two centuries been the central buttress of our national identity.
Toronto is New York run by the Swiss.
The Canadian is not an American – at least, not entirely, not yet.
Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.
In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – its cold, half French, and difficult to stir.
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, ‘Well, what do you need?’
Canada’s national bird is the grouse.
A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.
The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight… Quite frankly, I think it’s refreshing to finally find one beauty pageant winner who is against world peace.
