I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself.

Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself.

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash. He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart; all of His commands are user-friendly. His directory guides me to the right choices for His name’s sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is […]

Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.

Applying computer technology to a problem is simply a matter of finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.

If E-mail had been around before the telephone was invented people would have said “hey, forget e-mail – with this new telephone invention I can actually talk to people.”