Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. If you cheat, may you cheat death. If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. And if you drink, may you drink with me.

Dance as if no one were watching, Sing as if no one were listening, And live every day as if it were your last.

Here’s to the breezes that blow through the treeses, That blow the skirts off of young girls’ kneeses, Which lead to the sights that sometimes pleases, But more often leads to social diseases.

May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, “this drink’s on me.”

May you – Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like it’s being filmed, and drink like a true Irishman.

Here’s to Fire! Not the fire that takes down houses and shanties, But to the fire that takes down trousers and panties!

Let’s drink to California, way out by the sea, Where a woman’s ass, and a whiskey glass, Made a horse’s ass of me.

For (insert city of your choosing) hath no sober man, Or none of milk sop thinkers, And no philosophical fools, But great and glorious drinkers!

Here’s to heat – not the kind that ignites and burns down shantys – but the kind that exictes – and slides down panties!