Will Rogers Quotes

Legislatures are like animals in a zoo. You can’t do anything bout ’em. All you can do is just stand and watch ’em.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Communism is like Prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.

Common sense is not an issue in politics, it’s an affliction. Neither is honesty an issue in politics, It’s a miracle.

The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Something ought to be done about these “primitive” people who live in various parts of the world, and don’t know a thing but to live off what nature provides. You would think they would get civilized and learn to live off each other like us civilized folks do.

See what will happen if you don’t stop biting your fingernails? (to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo)

That’s one trouble with our charities, we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain’t eating. Something wrong with the missionaries. They will save anybody if he is far enough away and don’t speak our language.