California Quotes

Living in California adds ten years to a man’s life. And those extra ten years I’d like to spend in New York.

Soon Los Angeles will be in San Diego, swallow San Francisco and pave every acre of earth up to the Gold river. The only historic monuments spared will be the rest rooms in the gasoline stations.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

I am a salesman by nature. And now most of my energies will go into selling California… if I can sell tickets to my movies like “Red Sonja” or “Last Action Hero,” you know I can sell just about anything.

L.A.: where there’s never weather, and walking is a crime.

L.A.: where the streetlights and palm trees go on forever, where darkness never comes, like a deal that never goes down, a meeting that’s never taken. The city of angels: where every cockroach has a screenplay and even the winos wear roller skates. It’s that kind of town.

When it’s five below in New York, it’s 78 in Los Angeles. When its 110 degrees in New York, it’s 78 in Los Angeles. There are 2 million interesting people in New York, and only 78 in Los Angeles.

If she were your wife, once beautiful and loving, but now shrewish, unkempt and manipulative, you would leave her. If she were a business, unconcerned about providing service after you paid a hefty premium, you would buy from someone else. She is neither, but she exhibits the worst traits of both. She is the city […]

Los Angeles is like one of those machines that treat flour. When the wheat comes in, it’s full of interestinging ingredients – but it goes through this machine and what you get out at the end is perfect white crap.

I had been warned many times by American friends that I must expect to find a mushroom town filled to overflowing with exquisitely beautiful young ladies. My first impression was that Los Angeles is a toadstool town filled to overflowing with centenarians… I discovered afterwards, of course, that these are the Middle-Westerners, who have come […]