Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

Takes him hours to watch 60 minutes.

He sets himself incredibly low standards, which he consistently fails to maintain.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

When you left your home, you deprived the village of it’s idiot.

Bright as Alaska in December.

The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.