Comics Quotes Quotes

One “oh shit” can erase a thousand attaboys. (“Dilbert”)

In fact, companies are borrowing more techniques from cults every day. For example, cults try to separate you from the rest of society. Companies make you work so many hours that you never see the rest of society. Cults tell you to wear dorky outfits. Companies tell you to wear dorky outfits too, except on […]

Calvin: Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then? Dad: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It’s just the world was black and white then. Calvin: Really? Dad: Yep. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it […]

We’re a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants. (“Dilbert”)

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us, a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird, a social being, capable of actual affection, nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family. […]

All you really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. (“Peanuts”)

Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (“Calvin and Hobbes”)

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children. (“Calvin and Hobbes”)

Dad: Bug bites build character. Calvin: Yeah, and last year you said diarrhea builds character. Dad: So think what a fine young man you’re growing up to be. Calvin: If all this character doesn’t kill me first. (“Calvin and Hobbes”)

Calvin: Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it. (“Calvin and Hobbes”)