Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn’t much better than tedious disease.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
I feel about airplaines the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
Not only don’t diets work, they’re actually designed to fail. It’s not you or your lack of will power that’s the problem. It’s that diets by their very nature simply don’t work.
Many a person who goes on a diet finds out in short order that they are poor losers.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales.